But You LOOK Good

How to Encourage and Understand People Living with Illness and Pain.

Do your loved ones have a hard time understanding your chronic illness or pain, because to them you LOOK fine? But You LOOK Good! is a book that gives those living with chronic illness and pain a voice about how they feel, what  they need and how others can be an encouragement to them. It is a convenient, informative way to educate loved ones about what people living with ongoing illness and pain struggle with, fight for and need from their friends and family. It is easy to read, gives practical ideas on how loved ones can be supportive and is not too long for readers to lose interest!

This book gets to the heart of why our friends and family have difficulty with understanding ongoing illness and pain. It serves as a tool to help explain to loved ones how extreme fatigue, pain, dizziness, cognitive impairments and other symptoms can be limiting, even though the person may not look sick or in pain. Moreover, it gives them simple, pragmatic ways to truly be an encouragement, what to say, what not to say and how to help. Often loved ones are enlightened as to why their well-meaning advice is not always well-received. It is cherished by both those living with illness or injury, as well as those who love them! IDA Store  – Now Available on Kindle © 1996-2014 Invisible Disabilities Association.
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See what others are saying about But You LOOK Good!

“I always wished I could find a book like this! The information on your site is great and since it’s so hard to explain MS or other invisible disabilities to others, I am grateful to you for writing your book and making it available.” – Brenda, Indiana

Terrific insights and communicated clearly…my husband said it finally opened his eyes to what I had been trying to say all these years. Thanks.”   – Sue, New Jersey

“I just finished reading the [But You LOOK Good] book and although I found myself filling up with tears on almost each and every page, I enjoyed it immensely.” – Bonnie, Rhode Island

“My husband read [the book] straight away and I actually got a cup of tea in bed this morning, what a treat!” – Kris, Australia

“This is the best book I have ever read in regard to invisible disabilities…I have had such a hard time explaining what I go through and how I feel. I cried and cried reading the book because it described me to a tee. I think you are a wonderful person for putting all of this in writing and making it understandable. Thank you so much.” – Debbie, Virginia

“I encouraged my mom to order your book, But You LOOK Good.  She said it’s helped her to better understand that [just] because I look ok on the outside, doesn’t mean I feel ok on the inside. I am grateful for your site and your book, I don’t think my mom would have ever understood without it. She’s passed it along throughout the family and everyone who has read it so far has had a better understanding of what just daily life does to me. Thank you so much for writing this book, and sharing it with us, it truly has been a godsend to me.” – Kelli, Illinois

“You have said what I have wanted to say to so many people for so many years. I have suffered with Crohn’s disease for 35 years. I have never been able to find anyone who could really understand what it’s like to suffer with an illness that can affect every aspect of my life all the while, looking (for the most part) normal on the outside. Not that I have been searching for pity, just some understanding. My thanks goes out to you!” – Matt, Washington

“My Dad used to hassle me every single time that I saw him. It had gotten to the point that I rarely ever went to my Parents home anymore, and when I did it would be for no more than 10 minutes at a time and the times were rare. I gave my Mom and Dad each a copy of your book. I know that my Dad read the whole thing. He has been transformed, literally. He never says a word to me about my back injury anymore. He used to always say thing like ‘You better hurry up and get back to work, or your going to lose your job.’ Plus he was always really hostile to me over nothing. What an utter Blessing your book has been to me in my life. You put on paper ‘exactly’ the words that people who have never had a ‘Chronic Illness’ NEED to read. Thank you so very much for being responsible for getting some of the people in my life to clearly understand what all I have to go through just to manage to do the simplest of my daily needs, not to mention all of the things that I do that lay me up for days at a time.” – Jerry, California

Read more comments about But You LOOK Good!

Read the excerpt from Part One of But You LOOK Good!



  1. michael siletti says

    I hear that a lot. My friend Jan looks real good. Almost 60 with the body of an 18 year old. But her back has been broken by abusive men in her family and relationships, she has arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I know she is in pain while other people think she looks good. I have chronic Complex PTSD. I was hit by a car in 1969. I have moderately severe TBI. I have a mild heart problem and a spinal injury. But people tell me “You look great”. They can’t handle other peoples pain. They are numb emotionally.

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