But You LOOK Good – 25th Anniversary Edition
How to Encourage and Support People
Living with Invisible Disabilities
Grounded in over 30 years of lived experience, this essential caregiver guide features nearly 50% brand-new content and 25 inspiring stories.
Quantity discounts also available via the IDA Store!
Are you struggling to understand a loved one’s chronic illness, pain, or invisible disability because they LOOK fine?
For over two decades, But You LOOK Good has served as an essential lifeline and guide for caregivers, family members, and friends striving to understand the people they care about.
Born out of Wayne and Sherri’s personal journey together of over thirty years, this book is a testament to the power of love from a devoted husband caregiving for his wife, and the incredible perseverance and visible courage of a wife living with an invisible disability.
Grounded in their marriage and the mutual experiences of millions worldwide, this completely updated 25th Anniversary Edition—featuring nearly 50% brand-new content—provides caregivers with the tools they need to support those navigating internal challenges and conditions that are often invisible to the onlooker.
When someone appears fine on the outside, it is difficult to comprehend the profound toll of a condition that isn’t physically apparent. This book provides simple guidance and tips to help understand these invisible battles. It offers a clear, practical framework on what to say, what not to say, and how to provide meaningful support without offering unsolicited advice.
A Practical Guide to Bridging the Gap Between Invisible Disabilities and Understanding
For 25 years, But You LOOK Good has served as an essential lifeline for people living with invisible disabilities and the loved ones who want to support them. It gives a voice to feelings that are often hard to put into words and provides clear, actionable ways to offer meaningful encouragement.
- Nearly 50% New Content: Extensively revised and expanded with over two decades of evolving insights, updated data, and modern guidance for today’s caregivers.
- Deepened Insights: Expanded wisdom from three decades of lived experience, helping families transition from the isolation of denial into the strength of acceptance.
- 25 Inspiring Stories: Real-life accounts of perseverance and inspiration from IDA award recipients, celebrating the resilience of the community.
- A Roadmap for Caregivers: A closer look at how invisible disabilities and illness impact relationships and how to build better understanding between loved ones.
What to Say (and What NOT to Say)
Gain practical language to offer meaningful support while avoiding well-meaning phrases that invalidate or hurt.
Understanding Invisible Symptoms
Learn how invisible symptoms like severe fatigue, pain, and brain fog impact daily life—even when someone looks healthy.
Actionable Support Tools
Discover simple, tangible ways for friends and family to help loved ones navigate daily life without causing overwhelm.
The Power of Presence
See how living with an invisible disability leads to isolation, and learn why showing up with quiet, consistent presence matters most.
What Leaders & Experts Are Saying
“But You LOOK Good is more than a book about invisible disabilities—it is a powerful invitation to see, believe, and love people more fully. Written with authenticity, compassion, and hard-earned wisdom.”
— JOHN O’LEARY, Acclaimed Speaker, Podcast Host & #1 Bestselling Author of On Fire
“Now, with new and expanded content in addition to the same trusted information, the book promises to go further than ever to promote a culture of compassion… You won’t want to miss an opportunity to purchase this essential resource.”
— DANIEL C. POTTS, MD, FAAN, Neurologist, Founder & President, Cognitive Dynamics Found.
“Wayne and Sherri Connell offer a masterclass in practical empathy, equipping us to build inclusive workplaces and supportive homes where individuals with invisible disabilities are truly understood, believed, and empowered.”
— MELISSA BROOKS, PHR, VP of Human Resources, Breckenridge-Wynkoop Restaurant Group
“For twenty-five years, But You LOOK Good has helped bridge the gap between those living with invisible disabilities and the people who love them… This book remains an important and timely resource for every family.”
— DAVID PERLMUTTER, MD, Board-Certified Neurologist | #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of Grain Brain and Brain Defenders
“This beautifully updated 25th Anniversary Edition of But You LOOK Good is a powerful reminder that healing begins with being seen and understood. A heartfelt guide that fosters greater empathy, connection, and understanding.”
— IZABELLA WENTZ, PharmD, The Thyroid Pharmacist | New York Times Bestselling Author of Hashimoto’s Protocol
“Invisible disabilities often leave individuals feeling unseen, misunderstood, and isolated… As a physician, I believe this book is an invaluable resource for anyone seeking to better understand the invisible struggles that affect millions of people every day.”
— JENNIFER PFLEGHAAR, DO, Double Board-Certified Physician in Emergency & Integrative Medicine | Author of The Perimenopause Reset
Meet the Inspiring People Featured in the Book
Equip Your Team, Clinic, Community, Company or Yourself
Foster true empathy, inclusion, and practical support across your network with the 25th Anniversary Edition.
- Healthcare Clinics & Support Groups: Provide patients, families, and caregivers with practical advice on navigating unseen health conditions.
- Corporate HR & ERGs: Build an inclusive, empathetic workplace culture that recognizes and empowers employees living with invisible disabilities.
- Nonprofits & Community Groups: Share a proven, life-changing resource with your members, volunteers, and donors.
Why Order Direct from IDA?
- Tiered Volume Pricing: Special discounted pricing automatically applied to bulk quantities.
- Direct Mission Impact: 100% of proceeds directly fund the outreach programs of the Invisible Disabilities Association.