In the last two years I have lost four people I cared for very much. They both were about my age, 45. Losing these friends forced me to face a mountain of loss that I was not familiar with. Standing at the bottom of this mountain, I had no idea what to do next. There are others out there like me who know what its like to lose a great friend and face this mountain. When we lose someone we love, many thoughts and emotions went through our mind. Getting myself to move forward would take some time. This kind of mountain made me wonder why I am here? I thought to myself, “these people were no different than me, yet while I am alive they are gone from this earth.” My first step was to face my grief, talk about how I felt and admit it made me feel afraid. After a while I asked myself the question what was my purpose in life?
This is a mountain I did not expect to face when losing friends. They were no longer there to talk to, laugh with, or even cry with, so it made me focus on how I wanted to live my life. I missed all four of these people and I treasured our memories together. Somehow their death gave me the a opportunity to face my fears. To move further up the mountain, I had to realize getting passed this pain may not happen today or tomorrow or even a year from now, but I believed if I kept trying, I would discover how to get to the top.
As time progressed, my perspective began to change. My sense of self-confidence started to grow. When I found myself getting closer to the top of this mountain, I remembered great memories and how they touched my life. Because they died at my age, I realized you never know when your life will end, so if you can, give it your best. Different emotions have come as time has gone on. I know that there will be times when I’ll experience their loss again, and I will face another difficult mountain. For now I am at peace.